There’s been so many times when I hit a wall and I felt stuck, unable to move forward, and so many times I struggled in relationships that I simply can’t remember them all.
What I remember though is how it felt at the time and the learnings I took with me from each and every experience.
Some relationship issues have been epic and it still feels slightly uncomfortable when I revisit them in my mind. But their teachings are so powerful that makes the inner and outer conflicts I would say necessary and even transformational.
You might be thinking what on earth I am talking about? Do I sound like I speak with gratitude about my past struggles? Yes, that’s exactly what I am doing.
If you wonder if I am nuts, let me say that I am telling you the truth. There is no change without a bit of discomfort or suffering. In fact, these day I am starting to believe that challenges come on our path for a reason, not because God or the destiny wants to punish us.
Everything, but everything I have been through (and I have been through a lot, believe me) has been another step in my self-discovery, healing and personal growth journey.
I would have not been able to open my eyes to the extraordinary knowledge and wisdom there is out there without those events that shook me inside at the core of my being.
They brought the light I needed when I was in the darkness and they helped me make sense of all those 15 years of studies in psychology and associated disciplines, as well as the support I ofefred to so many people on the way in my work.
And what I find interesting looking back into the past is that every single time I struggled there was a relationship matter involved, either a family issue, a work/friends/neighbours situation or an upset with the world’s systems and institutions which I perceived as oppressive at times.
Furthermore, what I learned every single time was that in the mist of pain, distress, rumination, confusion and despair there was only one person I was struggling with, and that was myself. It did not even matter what the dispute was about (although most times the themes that run through my mind were related to dishonesty, unfairness and inequality); what mattered was that what the events have stirred in me was related to my own incompleteness, uncertainty, weakness, fear, and so on.
So eventually I learned that my relationship struggles were signs that came on my avenue to awaken me, to open my eyes, to help me understand deeper, to accept more, to learn to forgive and to let go of the past, to unstuck myself from my personal history and the false identity the world has placed on me.
What came out each time was a very liberating feeling, a sense of reconnection with my self, the others and the world and a more genuine openness towards joy and happiness.
Let me share in detail how it felt when I got stuck and the 4 stages I have been through to move past the obstacles:
1. The first stage was the PAIN stage. I’ve been in pain, a lot of suffering, so heavy suffering that it felt like there was no way out. Aching, stinging, stabbing pain on both physical and psychological levels. Subtle pain, sharp pain, and it became excruciating at times. I fought with it and I tried to deny it, to ignore, to say it’s fine, to think it will go, but it didn’t. I tried to supress it, to rationalise it, to intelectualise it, I displaced it on others and I mostly sublimated it into working. I also reflected on it a lot in a informal meditative state, but I got so tired with being in pain and fighting with pain until naturally something happened.
2. I found myself in the stage of SURRENDER. When I could not take thepain anymore I started to accept what was. I did not accept the status quo and considered there’s nothing I can do about it. I accepted the facts and events of my life that were out of my control. I accepted what happened in the present and that acceptance created something beautiful, a sense of momentum, a sense of movement. Strangely, the more I self-reflected, the more movement it created in my life. Meditation forced me into surrender which was like a terminal that protected me, that was taking me from the pain somewhere else.
3. I moved through pain and surrendered into TRANSCENDENCE. I transcended the pain to the other side. I never said I am running away from the pain nor that the pain is fine or wrong and I stoped living in the victim mentality asking why do I have to have this pain and why is this happening to me. I stopped fighting with it, I just accepted it. When I gave up all of this resistance I trancended through the pain, through surrender, to the other side, beyond the pain. It felt like going through a storm, where I could see nothing, there was no space to retreat to and there was nothing to hold on to. So, rather than saying this storm is too powerful, I stand no chance, I can’t go back, I can’t move forward and I will not survive here, I said to myself: I will move through the storm out of the storm. In a way I allowed the storm to flow thorugh me and I continued to do my own thing, to do my own inner work. I use the momentum created by the meditative surrender and I move forward through my own path believing that there is something else beyond the storm.
4. And when that happened I entered the fourth stage, the PEACE stage. I found a sense of quietness and stillness, a sense of tranquility and renewal. I found joy and I opened to hapiness. And if I looked back I could still see the great pain that was there, I could still see the moment of surrender and the storm that help me transcend it, but once I landed into that space of peace, oneness and presence to my being then I found a space in me, in my Village Mind, where I could always retreat when I needed it. Because the pain is always coming back. Pain is in the aching and the tension in the body, pain is in the mental pressure, in the emotional turmoil, in the spiritual doubt and in disconnection from the self and others. Pain can take many shapes and can be everywhere. But once you know that beyond pain there is peace and serenity then you don’t fear the pain because you know you can go through it.
This is how through meditation and faith I managed to move past the walls and obstacles of life and to expand my being. Real life experience has proved to me over and over again that when I hit a wall and I felt stuck in life it was for my own development and maturation. It was a step ahead in my journey of becoming who I want to be.
This is why I am today sharing my story with you because I want you to unstuck yourself too. I dream of bringing back joy and happiness into your life. I dedicate my life to help you open to happiness. So what are you waiting for? Let go of the pain and let’s change your life today.