How these values keep your relationships happy and safe

Today I am going to share with you the values that will keep your relationships happy and safe. I call them The Upwards Value Staircase because one builds on the other and the absence of one makes the others futile. So let’s have a look at what I compiled for you: 1.Respect/fairness/equality. They are in my mind the same thing and I consider them the foundation of a good character and the essence of morality and a good life. Lack of respect is found in narcissism, paranoia, extremism and other antisocial behaviours. Respect is essential for healthy relationships and very important in building trust and cooperation. 2.Freedom/independence/autonomy. I feel that they mean the same thing and I see them after respect as the next mandatory value towards a decent life. Lack of freedom leads to depression, anxiety, PTSD and suicide. Relationships without freedom, independence and autonomy become abusive,  controlling and …

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Case study: Diagnosed by Dr. Google

I thought I’d share with you a case study from my work with clients to raise awareness that sometimes in our need to understand what’s happening with us we rush into drawing conclusions and put labels on our thinking and behaviour that can be very detrimental to our wellbeing, especially when we get diagnosed by Dr Google.                                                                                               xxx She wanted to see me “as soon as possible”. When I hear that request I am tempted to imagine an emergency situation so I created urgent space and prepared for the worse scenario.  At the time of the appointment I open the door and I see a …

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10 steps towards healing

We all get hurt in life constantly, but did you know that we can repair our being as we go along with these 10 simple steps towards healing? Healing comes in many shapes and forms and through a large variety of channels.  Healing is in fact right here, within you, in front of you, around you… all you need is to allow your senses to connect with it. 1. Art Art is a free and very powerful avenue for healing. Immersion in arts connects you with your senses in ways that no other activity can replicate, and art is in everything. Music, dance and other forms of performing art expression like movies, theater, opera, ballet are all amazing instruments of education but, also avenues for inner healing. Listening to music that resonates within you allows your hearing to open its doors to the beautiful message of the melody and lyrics …

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Why I use “mental wellbeing” instead of “mental health”

I get asked sometimes why I use the term “mental wellbeing” instead of “mental health” and what is the difference between the two. The truth is that I stopped using “mental health” and “mental ilness” exclusively as soon as I started to distance myself from the medical model and look at our life experience beyond labels, categorisations and diagnosis. This is how the concept of “mental wellbeing” set naturally into my narrative. But how do I make sense of this and how to I answer my clients’ queries? This is the real challenge. So, let me share that I do no longer believe in dualism. I might have been programmed when I was little to think of life in terms of “either” – “or”, but in time I gave myself persmission to choose to think differently. Therefore, I do no longet believe someone or something has to be good or bad, …

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Look beyond the medical model seduction

Can you look beyond the medical model seduction? Mental health is a trendy topic in our conversations nowadays. Numerous charities as well as governmental and world organisations are campaigning to “reduce stigma” around mental illness, making a clear distinction between mental health and mental illness and implying that only some of us are affected. To differentiate between mental health and mental illness our world is still using the medical model which involves an assessment, diagnosis and a treatment plan, based obviously on labels and categorisations. We know there are many flaws in the mental health assessment and diagnostic system, yet we continue to follow it. I did it myself for many years. One day I realised that no label can possibly describe the large variety of human experience, also that it is very difficult for the medical professionals to capture the unique and subjective nuances of people’s inner worlds. Looking …

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