I often have this experience when I meet people that are excesively harsh with themselves. Are nyou one of them? If so let me invite you go through the 10 most common therapy lessons.
In therapy we work through the pain and understand what is distorted in our thinking. This is how we learn that most times we seem to fail to appreciate how difficult it is to be a human being and how complex the myriad of challenges we have to face in life in all 4 relationship circles.
Here’s the 10 most common therapy lessons we learn through this process:
►Firstly, we are not asked for permission, we just happen to come to life, in a time, place, family and body that we cannot choose, but we have to carry with us for the rest of our life.
►Secondly, we are thrown into living with no real education about life and what to expect from it. We are “protected” from seeing the real face of our world and we are told very little about our human nature. My work with clients is showing me that neglect, abuse, bullying, harassment and hurt are more common than we believe they are, but often we turn a blind eye to them and carry on with our lives in blissful denial.
►Then, the modern world programs us to be strong, resilient and to deny our inner experiences. We are also taught form early ages to control ourselves, to restrain and conform with the rules. This way, we enter the adult life with very few tools to handle the inherent hurdles and with far too many expectations.
►We find sooner or later that we all go through dilemmas, fear, guilt, envy, shame, uncertainty, insecurity, disappointment, loneliness, illness, etc. and we do not really know how to cope.
►In our modern times, we are brainwashed to focus on performing, improving, developing, growing, achieving, accumulating, and we live under tremendous pressure to succeed, following other people’s steps towards the delusion of “success”.
►It is true, we all have in our heart the best intentions for ourselves, but we become too busy with what’s been assigned to us, and we often lose track of who we are, ignoring how we feel and abandoning ourselves to our controlling minds which are mainly preoccupied with “doing” and “having”. This disconnection from our body and soul, together with the distress, conflict and loss that are constants in our lives can make human existence very painful.
►Our inner experience is most times concealed by denial and self-deception and survives under the facade of the good life we present to the world. But in times of crisis, awareness kicks in and the reality of our existence makes the inner pain unbearable. This is when it si time to seek out for support.
►Whether we recognize it or not, we people are more similar than different in the way we experience life. The sound of happiness and despair is the same in all of us, and what differs is the unique nuances and colours people use to describe their experiences.
►Whilst some people reach out for help, others suffer in silence and live deprived from enjoying the infinite source of love, kindness, beauty and happiness that human life can offer.
►To make the best of our existence, it rests with each of us to make a conscious effort and bring wellbeing at the core of our lives, to learn about ourselves and others, to heal within so we can design authentic and fulfilling lives.