How to manage relationship tension in quarantine

Many people feel challenged in their relationships during this pandemic. There is no doubt that being together all the time is unusual for some of us and demands for new ways of  being and new ways of living. How do we cope when the stress levels are going up? What do we do when there is conflict and the tension intensifies? Some people manage it easier, but others are struggling. Who does well during these times? Families that talk to each other. Those that communicate and keep the dialogue open do well. And those that are honest and transparent in their communication do even better. Why? Because they don’t just pile up on tension and unresolved issues. They deal with their problems as they happen. For many couples and families this confinement is one of their most challenging times. One of my clients, 29, describes it exactly like this: “We’ve …

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How to resolve severe family dysfunctions

The lack of connection with our families and roots can have a very negative impact on our wellbeing. So let’s take a few minutes to reflect on this very important question: Can we resolve severe family dysfunctions? I would like to share with you a case study from my recent work to help you search for an answer to this very important question within yourself. He came to see me to explore some work difficulties, but the conversation took him someplace else pretty early in our first chat. He is 48, his 4th (and only biological) son will soon be 18, and he has never seen his wife together with his mother in the same room. I told him it might be challenging to work through the accumulation of events that marked their lives for the past 18 years, but not impossible. “I will be very curious to see how are you going …

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How to properly heal after breakup

I’ve seen many breakups in my work, social and private life. Very few have been easy. Whether the partners were just lovers or married couples, young or more mature, from the East or the West, they all struggled to move past that chapter in their lives. Some of them thought they were in happy and satisfying relationships and were shocked to discover infidelity. The hurt and the drama affected both partners’ lives. Others were struggling for years to make their relationships work, but for a reason or another they were not ready to give up. The agony of an unhappy relationship was as worse as the sour taste of betrayal. Whatever the case, these breakups remained a very stressful life event for these people and made the adjustment to their new life very difficult. We’ve all been there! Breakups can bring chaos in our lives. One day we feel relived and hopeful and next day …

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Men struggle in the absence of a caring and supportive father

The importance of a father figure and a good relationship between a male and his father is understated. I’d love to share a case study to explore this in more depth. My client looked around 50 and he came across as very confident. He shared that his father just passed away, but he did not have time to focus on that. He came to see me to shed some light on other life challenges. I didn’t know his name, someone else booked the session, but it did not matter. I listened quietly while he spoke effortlessly, with eloquence and coherence. He spoke about his wife and their “2 amazing daughters”, about work, deals, projects, launches, competition and the ever-tense relationship with his business partner which he finds most times “absolutely impossible”. “He reminds me of my father” he shared and then changed the topic before I got the chance to …

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7 threats in your relationship

Building and maintaining healthy relationships can bring us a sense of connection, fulfillment and safety also infinite joy and happiness. Relationships however are not easy at all, in fact, they can make our lives miserable.  In my work with people across various cultures I found a number of common themes that act as serious threats in our relationships with others. COMMUNICATION We find it difficult to openly communicate our needs so the others know exactly what we want, when we want it and how we want it delivered. We imagine our partners know us enough to read our minds and we build up internal tension when we don’t get the desired response. SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS We believe there is only one reality in this world. That’s a faulty belief. In fact, each person has their own reality and should be accepted as a valid perspective by all of the others. UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS …

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