You can choose who you want to be

We, people, value our independence. We like to feel free to move, think and behave and we like to feel free to make choices. There are however some basic facts about our nature which are little contemplated, yet quite essential to our wellbeing.  One of the most important is that we do not get to make all the choices in life. In fact, the concept of choice is another illusion created by the world around us. Humans are not asked for permission to come to life, they just happen to be. Life is a given that can be seen both in positive and negative light, and most people will go through stages that will make their life experience both extraordinary and horrible. My work with clients showed me that the significance of not having a say in coming to life, in what time, place, and in what specific package can be …

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When my right is your wrong

Out of all the dichotomies there are, right & wrong has been probably the most used in the history of humanity and is today a common theme in our day to day narrative. We embraced it as part of our values, put it at the front of our morality and character, and we use it as a general guide in our life affairs. But where do we draw the line between right & wrong? Where does the right starts and ends and, subsequently, where does wrong come into place? And what is its relevance for us people? It must be very important since we live our lives by what we think is right, make choices that we think are right for us and expect to be treated right. We develop and maintain relationships with the right people and we act for the right reasons. We make a stand in case wrong actions take place, …

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What everybody ought to know about life

I am reminded very often in my work that we fail to appreciate how difficult it is to be a human being and how complex the myriad of challenges we have to face in life. ►Firstly, we are not asked for permission, we just happen to come to life, in a time, place, family and body that we cannot choose, but we have to carry with us for our entire life.  ►Secondly, we are thrown into living with no real education about life and what to expect from it. We are “protected” from seeing the real face of our world and we are told very little about our human nature. My client work is showing me that neglect, abuse, bullying, harassment and hurt are more common than we believe they are, but often we turn a blind eye to them and carry on with our lives in blissful denial. ►Then, …

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5 mental errors that prevent you from growing

Most people live with the desire to grow and develop and have a happy and fulfilling life. What stays in our way of achieving this is sometimes our own programming and a number of reasoning errors we inherited and continue to pass over from a generation to the other. Mistake no. 1: We think life is easy This is wrong. Human existence is not always easy, we like to delude yourself it is, because this is what we’ve been told.  Life on Earth is actually demanding and challenging on many levels and our complex and unfinished human nature cannot help us adjust with ease all the time. The reality is that we have not been encouraged to talk about our difficulties when we were little and we continue to live like that default, pretending we cope with life and ignoring our real inner feelings. Shame, guilt, inadequacy and fear mix …

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Live now, not tomorrow, next month or next year

A few years ago, I was preparing for a 6 months break to travel America in a RV together with my partner. I had that dream since I was a child and I kept postponing it from one year to another throughout my adult life waiting to finish various projects.  The project at that time was a third and final research year of an MSc course which stirred a lot of passion in me. Only that right before the course was due to start my worst fears confirmed and I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was unexpected, as I felt healthy and energetic, but despite my disbelief it was real. A very aggressive and rare type of breast cancer, combined with a genetic mutation and a poor treatment and survival prognostic that shattered my life instantly.  To tell you the entire story we need more than a blog post, but I will share …

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